GREG GUTFELD: If Musk steps down at Twitter, here’s some replacements

GREG GUTFELD: If Musk steps down at Twitter, here’s some replacements

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Happy Monday, everybody. We have a lot to discuss in today’s monologue. Let’s dive in, Ana Navarro style, with a plate of churros in front. I love churros.

It seems that Musk may actually resign from his position as Twitter CEO. Although I don’t know if Jack Dorsey will return, he’ll keep not showering just incase. Musk asked the Twitter community over the weekend if they wanted Musk to resign as Twitter’s head.

Musk then asked the Twitter community if they would accept the results of the poll. We can only dream that Biden would also take the same poll. Then Musk responded with “Be careful what you wish for as you might get it.” This is something I learned the hard-way when I wished for Geraldo’s friendship. So after 17,500,000 votes, the final result: 57% said ‘Yes, Elon should step down’, 43% said ‘No’, although we’re still waiting for results from Maricopa County. That one was not expected, didn’t you?

But that’s a 14-point difference; pretty wide margin. I don’t think we can blame the Dems for taking this one too, even though they got lots of votes from dead people like Keith Olbermann.

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So who’s going to replace him? I would do it, but I have too many things on my plate, including ‘The Five’, my weekends, teaching spot-welding at the orphanage to those sick brats. I hate charitable work. It’s too generous.

But there are people who can help you. Hunter Biden is one example. Be honest. He can make it rain both in the boardroom or the VIP room. He will make your stock price go up like a stripper in two-inch heels. Because he did.

Jimmy Failla: Because everyone hates him already.

JIMMY FAILLA: Gregory. We are so grateful to you, my girlfriend.

Donald Trump: Let’s face it, being Twitter CEO is all the fun of being president– without being president. You can still torture media without needing to smell. Jim Acosta’s terrible breath. Trump’s breath is worse than my goldfish aquarium. Those guys are great at floating upside-down. I know.

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How about Brian Kilmeade? It’s not clear how he will handle Twitter, but it is better than his life. Yes, I do. That’s terrible.

Hillary Clinton – If she can censor, she won’t need to murder. It’s a good one.

The latest batch of Twitter files were also dumped over the weekend. This shows that the FBI agitated Twitter execs about not removing material that upset them. Matt Taibbi, a journalist, tweeted the revelations. Quote: “Twitter’s contact was constant and pervasive, as if it were an affiliate. ‘

He showed that between January 2020 and November 2022, there were over 150 emails between the FBI and Twitter execs, and many were requests by the FBI for Twitter to take action on election misinformation, even involving joke tweets from low-follower accounts. And with the FBI investigating jokes it is certain that Trevor Noah’s account was left alone.

At one point, as many as 80 FBI agents were tasked with patrolling the site; demanding anything they didn’t like being flagged or taken down. It’s nice to see that they had more time. They got tired of conducting pre-dawn raids on Trump and his friends.

Now, I wonder if these same agents consider extortion to be a crime. Let me make a suggestion. What about the snot-nosed and pimply-faced brat that published Elon’s private plane information on Twitter? He is here on a public access channel in February talking about what it would take to make him leave.

MICHAEL SMERCONISH, CNN HOST: What is your current demand, relative to Musk? What will it take to get rid of this?

JACK SWEENEY: Still a Tesla or $50,000. I don’t think so. It’s not necessary.

Awesome.

Awesome.

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FILE - Tesla and SpaceX Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk speaks at the SATELLITE Conference and Exhibition in Washington, Monday, March 9, 2020.

FILE – Tesla and SpaceX Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk speaks at the SATELLITE Conference and Exhibition in Washington, Monday, March 9, 2020.
(AP Photo/Susan Walsh, File)

So will the FBI be on that kid’s tail? They’re busy interrogating grandmothers starting January 6 or sending a team of harassers to Mike Lindell. He’ll sleep through it all, fortunately.

Meanwhile, more files released today suggest the FBI may have preemptively suppressed accurate news reports on the Hunter laptop story, even before it got published, minus any real evidence that it was linked to an intel operation.

So that’s news. But I wonder how the media coverage was. It must be footage from the WNBA playoffs. You watch the games.

But they can bet that they covered all those journalists who were suspended for violating terms and doxxing Musk. They are already back after a brief time. You might not have noticed, but no one noticed. Nobody cares. I find it hard to care any more. The fact that the media does care just shows you how desperate they are for something to fill that Trump-sized hole that 45 left behind.

Now who fills that void? It’s Musk. Adam Schiff: It might cause projectile vomiting, but it’s not. Schiff tweeted that “Elon Musk” is a free speech absolutist, to justify turning a blindeye to hatred and bigotry on Twitter. Journalists who report negative news are often banned without warning. That devotion to free speech is apparently not that absolute, but the hypocrisy is.’

Rep. Adam B. Schiff, D-Calif. talks to reporters on Capitol Hill.

Rep. Adam B. Schiff (D-Calif.) talks to reporters on Capitol Hill.
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

Musk tweeted back, quote, ‘Thankfully, you lose your chairmanship very soon…’ But – no the best part – No, don’t clap yet – He ended the tweet with ‘…[y]our brain is too small’.

That is the best part. Ironically, Adam Schiff’s brain can’t stop him. It’s why Democrats keep him around.

He is their idiot stepchild, making everyone else in the party seem like geniuses.

I don’t know if Adam Schiff was ever dropped as a child but I don’t blame his parents.

Greg Gutfeld is currently the host of FOX News Channel’s “Gutfeld!” (weekdays 11PM/ET) and co-host of “The Five” (weekdays 5PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. He is the author or several books. His latest is “The Plus: Self-Help for People Who Hate Self-Help.” Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.

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